Why I'm Going to Be a Stay At Home Mom, Part 1

"Never, 'for the sake of peace and quiet,' deny your convictions." -Dag Hammarskjold

This is a blog series that I REALLY debated on writing for a number of reasons.  But after praying about it and talking it over with my husband, I feel like it is the thing to do. 

By now most of my blog readers probably know that I will be leaving my job when Joseph is born to be a full-time stay-at-home wife/mom/homemaker.  It has been our plan since we got married.  There was a time when it didn't seem that it would be financially possible, but God has been very faithful to provide a way for that to happen through David's stable job, wisdom in budgeting and saving (in preparation of me staying at home, we've been living off of David's salary alone for over two years now, while mine has gone directly into various savings accounts), and so many other blessings. 

There was a time that David and I VERY seriously discussed me being a stay-at-home wife (this focusing full time on our marriage and our home), even before we got pregnant, and to be honest we both loved that idea.  In some ways I felt that was what the Lord was calling me to, and in some ways I felt that he wanted me to keep bringing in income until we had children.  There was a lot of wrestling in prayer for me on that topic.  After much of this prayer and discussion, I decided that the income we could put into savings before we had kids would be more beneficial to our family in the long run (I say that I decided because David was incredibly supportive of whatever decision I thought was best at that point since no children were involved.  If I had wanted to stay at home then, even without children, he would have been behind me 100%).

I have God, first and foremost, to thank for the ability to stay at home.  After that, I have to give a huge thanks to my sweet husband, who has not only been incredibly on board with me on this since our first date (no, you didn't misread that, we discussed it on our FIRST DATE) but has also worked incredibly hard to be the type of provider he needs to be to make it happen.  It is a decision that I absolutely COULD NOT be more excited about (and I've never questioned it for a second), although I do realize it will have it's fare share of challenges, and in some ways will be the hardest job I've ever done!

What really inspired me to write this is the surprising number of questions and comments (some of them just curious, some of them downright critical) directed to me about our decision.  I don't mind these comments (after all, everyone is entitled to their own opinion) and I certainly don't mind the questions (In fact I welcome them, because how do we learn about each others views if we aren't open to questions?).  But I thought that our blog may be a good way to explain to our family and friends why we are making this decision.  Most of all, we feel that this is God's will for our family.  But there has been a lot of thought into the decision making process as well just on our very human, earthly level.

BUT, before I start this blog series, there are a few things I'd like our readers to know.  I hate the word "disclaimers" when it comes to something like this, but honestly I really can't think of a better term.  So here it goes:

1) I DO understand that there are some women that, because of financial circumstances, CANNOT stay at home.  I know this.  Especially in this economy and the situations that SO many people in America and around the world are facing, I understand this.  I have several friends in particular who want nothing more than to be at home with their children, and yet because of various financial situations they are unable to do so - either because they MUST work or MUST be in school full time .  And when I say financial situations, I DO NOT mean that they are unwilling to sacrifice or give up the lifestyle they currently have, I mean that they would risk their family not having food if they didn't work or further their education.  For these people, I can say that not only do I understand but I lift them up in prayer, praying that the good Lord will find a way for them to reach their goal if that is His will.

2) I am not, not, NOT saying that women who CHOOSE to work or be in school full time (when they COULD afford to stay at home) are bad women, bad mothers, bad wives, or bad Christians (for those who share that with me).  I am not saying I am a better woman, mother, wife, or Christian than them - by no means!  I recognize that I am a very flawed person, and I'd be crazy to have a "holier than thou" attitude about this (not to mention that I love these women DEARLY).   PLEASE hear this, blog readers.  Some of my BEST friends in the world are working mothers, and many of them COULD stay at home if they wanted to and were willing to rearrange their budget.  It is one of the most personal and private decisions a family could make.  Frankly, the reasons that I have chosen to stay at home or the reasons a working mother has chosen to work are no one's business except their own and their husbands.  This blog series is simply a presentation of why David and I have chosen this for OUR family, and why this is decision and the reasons behind it are so near and dear to my heart.  So PLEASE friends, no hurt feelings, no offense, because it is the furthest thing from my purpose. 

Okay, I think this about covers all the motivations behind this series.  I don't typically do blog "series," so this will be something new for me.  I have 7 parts planned, and hopefully can post one per day for this next week.  I hope you can read along, and that it will answer questions that you may have about us, our choice, and perhaps some other families making the same decision.